Some philosophical thought

Its funny, I do tend to believe there are forces at work in the universe that influence what goes on in our lives. I imagine these forces to form a fabric, like a great Ocean. You may be lucky enough to have been coasting through warm, tropical waters for most of your life, perhaps hitting the odd strong current or even hurricane, or you may have landed in the North Atlantic and had nothing but turbulent cold seas.

What made me think of this was that I have had a short spate of bad luck recently (a minor cold front) - my computer died; my external hard drive overheated; my new computer no longer fitted many of the leads I use; my new external hard drive refused to co-operate with my new computer; my favorite web site for downloading TV shows and Movies seemed to have banned me; I sprained my wrist and damaged my shoulder; there were some other persistent minor health issues, requiring unpleasant medication; the weather in Cozumel has been unseasonably bad and for some reason, although our hotel is at 80% we're making no money and I thought to myself - I'm in some type of negative current here. Then I thought what do you do when you're in the Ocean caught in a rip tide. You don't freak out and frantically swim against it - you'll just end up being pulled out into deep water. You relax and swim perpendicular to the current and out you pop into calm water again. So as I was beset by all of these minor issues, I decided not to get myself all wound up fighting against them, but let them slip out of my mind. I concentrated on running, yoga and meditation instead. Don't you know it - this week every little thing that was going wrong seems to have righted itself. New leads and hard drive will be arriving over the weekend, I seem to have returned to full health, my wrist is at full strength and my shoulder is almost better (indeed the injury has been a good thing as it has reminded me to be less reliant on my right arm - I'm now driving with my left).

It made me think of depression, you could view depression like being in an area of dead calm with no wind or current to carry you to the nearest harbor. This is a little harder to escape than a rip tide. You'll have a long and arduous swim with little sign of progress, but finally if you persist you'll make it to the shore.

Goodness knows what type of squall I had stumbled into during my years in New York, but I was definitely on a downward spiral. Perhaps a whirlpool spiraling out of control - again its no good grasping for the surface if you are caught in a whirlpool - you need to be smart and swim out of the side. Mine was a pretty big whirlpool and perhaps I also hit a few tropical storms.

What's my point? Well I think it is this: You are but one force and although you are somewhat in control of you life you are also navigating through forces which you don not control. In life you need to be alert because if you panic and flail around in a rip tide, you will most certainly end up in unkind seas. If you take no action when the wind falls from beneath your sails then you will stay in the doldrums. You need to recognize when life starts to carry you in a direction you don't like and take early affirmative action. My hope is that we have this amount of control over the fabric of the universe:)

Yoga Marathon 2010

This Saturday, Cozumel hosted a yoga Marathon. I was only able to attend three of the events, mostly because I felt like relaxing that day and spending some time with my BF.

The first event was at 6am - Meditations and Mantras at sunrise. One of the wonderful things about living on a small Island is that you are able to see the sun set over the ocean on the West side of the Island and rise over the morning on the East side (commonly referred to as 'the other side' because the East side is not populated - no big hotels, just long sandy beaches.

I woke up at 5.30 and decided to go to the meditation. Quick face wash and out. The drive was beautiful. There is one road, the transversal, which runs across the Island and as I drove to the other side the day started to dawn. By the time I reached the beach I didn't need my lights on any more. The other side smells wonderful - the plants at the side of the beach are beautifully fragrant and this mixes with the fresh salty breeze. The day was warm, even though it was pretty windy. We all sat facing the sun, feeling its warmth on our skin, it warmed me right through, filling me with light and I prayed a little for things I would like to happen this year and just generally for my own physical and spiritual well being (mostly I do direct this type of prayer to others, but I'd already decided to devote this day to me). It feels pretty cool to sit firmly in the sand and feel the earth beneath you, with the wind stroking your skin, the sound of crashing waves filling your ears and the light of the sun filling your head and body. After the meditation we took some pictures. I had not been prepared for the photo shoot and had worn raggy old jogging pants:)

I had to leave right after the meditation for work, but carried the feeling of being full to the brim with happiness all through, my morning working at the pool, to my dive at the beach, to lunch. Lunch was at Selene's house. She has a lovely little walled garden in the back of her home, which will be a main inspiration for my garden, when the house is built. Selene had prepared a wonderful 5 course meal based on activating the chakras. All was vegetarian and complimented by wholewheat bread made by her boyfriend. The bread was a special treat as it is impossible to get good bread here. Dessert was the best - some kind of cheese cake made with summer fruits. After lunch I took a guided meditation with Lisanthi. Unfortunately this was in Spanish (well I do live in Mexico after all) and I missed most of it. She sand and played drums though and even if I did not understand much of what was going on I had a very relaxing experience.

Goodbye to 2009 and looking forward to 2010

I had a dream last night that I was walking down Beaconsfield Road in Low Fell (the town where I grew up in England). I passed a stone built house and heard the sounds of Trumpton (a 70's children's TV show) drifting out of a window and saw my grandmother across the street waving to me. All was warm and well. I woke up this morning with the same warm secure feeling.

I have travelled a lot in my life and lived in many places. I have had a whole host of life experiences, many of which left me feeling exposed and a little depressed - the world had never really lived up to my expectations, despite my efforts to experience all it had to offer. But 2009 was a year that changed all of that. They say that women really come into their own in their 30's. Well life has really come together for me. Having made the decision to get out of my crazy life in New York, 2009 saw me really settle into Cozumel. I almost don't remember the last time I felt stressed or worried. Yoga and Selene of Yoga Shakti, have really helped me find this relative state of peace. I have a wonderful job diving everyday and the ocean really soothes my soul. I find that I spend less time berating myself for my faults and weaknesses and more time just enjoying myself. Less nightmares and more good dreams.

Most of all, after years of searching, I have found a wonderful man. They say 'you have to kiss an awful lot of frogs before you find your handsome prince' and my goodness did this ring true for me. I never really understood the saying but for me it could be translated to 'you have to be treated like crap by a bunch of men before you grow up and start looking for a good person rather than base your selection on a cute smile or nice blue eyes - ignoring the obvious signs of alcoholism, arrogance or plain old nastiness (froginess)'. My friend Allie told me my picker was broken - and its seems moving to Mexico fixed my picker and I have finally been able to pick a good one! My fiance is a very loving person and most importantly makes me feel really secure and happy. He is also the most handsome man I can think of.

We started to build our house this year, on the Island. 2010 should see at least the first floor finished. I'm going to put regular posts on my blog as the house starts taking shape.

2009 has been a really good year, the only blemish is that I do miss family and friends in England and America.

I used to spend most of my time 'looking forward' to things, but right now I just feel happy where I am. As usual though, I do have a few goals nutritionally for 2010, and of course am looking forward to getting married in April.

So to all - I wish you all a Happy New Year and hope that 2010 is the year that everything falls into place for you, and that only good things come your way.